Terrible WORD

This post is to justify my self about why there're a lot of terrible come on my mouth or come on my mind and from my handwriting. This stage of life, this time is have been a terrible time for me. There's a lot of terrible thing happend that what's make me easily say terrible word. This city is the one who make me like this
It's been awful and terrible living here, working here...
I don't know I feel like keep doing the wrong things, keep choosing the wrong choice and end up with blaming my self

After a lot of crying time, and keep blaming my self about what just happend..I try another way to protect my self from a broken heart, sad feeling, guilty feeling and all of those awful feeling that I don't want it anymore.So, saying a terrible word is to distract my self, and put all the anger in to those word

If anyone complain about why you say all the terrible word?..don't be shame, it's right to be not right, to be bad sometimes. You need to be bad sometimes. You can't always be saint, saint is boring...isn't it?

BLOODY FUCK*NG HELL...I HATE THIS LIFE ON THIS STAGE.......

same is bored..

Night...I on my way to sleep tonight. Thinking, why I never like a routine activity?

I think it's bored. You do the same thing every day. Go to the same place, go through the same scene

I just read some thing, how to make ur life is always wonderful?..

I have to following the flow. That life is something to be enjoyed, not a burden

But, how to following the flow?

I hear John mayer sing through the iTunes..

"stop this train, I wanna go home an go back again.." 

Yup, I reall wanna stop this train, change in to another train, change the location, the destination..

I don't wanna be in the same train every day

but, how If I can't stop the train? how If I am forced to stay still in this train?

How to enjoy the journey? how to enjoy the scenery if you don't even like it?

Really need to share a tips to enjoying this journey, without any thought to forced the train to stop..

please...
">

SHUT UP!

EVERY BODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!
You just don't know that I can say this awful awful things in front of your annoying face!!!...
Maybe you older than me, uglier than me, fatter than me, more annoying than me, (pretend) knowing everything than me, BUT I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU...
not even a bit

I don't wanna make a war here! I don't wanna start one too...but if you insist! well, it would be my pleasure..
You do one more awful thing to me. I slap your mouth! you bitch!!!!!!

when?

Hi..how's life?...
well...so far so not good ;D

7 months I already live here. In this country so called Singapore..How's it feel live here?

First time I came here, feel so excited. Especially when you see the transportation system. So clean, so in order, so punctual...well oh well the first imprecision of the bus and MRT very very make me impressed. By that time, I have a feeling. maybe I can live here for 2-3 years or more..or even became a PR here?

The fact is, after 6 month I live here. I'm getting bored. I'm the people who easily getting bored. The city is so small, the food is not as good as in Indonesia, the people are so mean, and everything you do here yo need a deposit..Oh gosh!!!!
I feel so damn bored right now, I want to escape from here. But, it can't be done so easy! You can't right away booking a flight, find a destination, give the resign letter, and go...No I can't do that!

Maybe this called home sick. But, I don't miss home. I want a damn good life. It doesn't have to be rich, doesn't have to be beautiful, doesn't have to be glamourous, but you will enjoy every little things that happend in your life
Maybe I'm the one who greedy.. maybe...
but Really I want life more than my life right now ;D

now the question is..when I will start to looking my new damn good life? when I will leave this boring city? when oh when...

My Life is [not] suck!

My life is not suck!..it is you that suck up my life =p

PUDICA lamp [shy] lamp

hihihi..proudly present my Pudica lamp design ^^
well, the rendering is crap! I know, it doesn't look like a lamp with the polyethylene and stainless steel. Like I said, the rendering is CRAP...but pleas don't look the rendering (please...I beg you^^)
let's talk about the concept for this Pudica Lamp

Pudica means shy in latin word. I was thinking about the mimosa pudica plan. It is shy and will close its leaf when people touching it. I twist the idea. The lamp will be just a little glow when people is not around it. And will be became slowly bright when there's people around..

I'm thinking about some kind of bollard light for jogging track that energy saving, and efficient. Because, sometimes people didn't use the jogging track at the night but still need the bollard light to light up the track just for safety reason..
So here's is the Pudica Lamp works. This lamp is consist of 3w LED per each head. It have a motion sensor detector that integrated with the LED power supply. When somebody break the signal, the motion sensor will tell the lamp to brighter in to 100% ON, but if no body around it will just ON 20% to saving the energy..

Anyway, please pray for me..hopefully I will win the competition.. even thought I know I won't^^
just thinking positive...and really really hope that someday I can produce this lamp..I will put one for my garden^^

Gloomy week

Huufffhhhh... My whole week even last week became a gloomy week. A lot of shit happend for this couple of week. Especially all the shit in the office. I can't take it anymore!!! Really have to decide to leave this new office. new job.
It's not that I can't handle this shit things that just happend. It's just if I still stay at this office, I will be a complete shit people. A different people from that I used to be...I just realize I always pretending to somebody else for this couple of month. Pretending I like to alone. Pretending I'm okay with all the shit things!!!
Some people say, It was a wonderful job. Not a hard job with a big payment for the beginning. I just have to be patient. They say I'm not that hard worker!..fine I don't care all the little crap they say..
I just can't handle it anymore..Just waiting the right time to quite this job^^

Some people ask.."what will you do after that?"Well, I don't know..I don't even have any plan or I don't even thinking about the plan yet
Maybe go to bali, enjoy some fun..go to vietnam, visiting my friend (hopefully the air ticket is not exceed than 70SGD^^), find a master program that provide the financial aid for me, go to Bandung have fun with my boyfriend..well, I don't know where is my next stop then

Well, maybe sometime you just can follow the flow. Don't put to much worry to your life, because sometimes all the plan is just won't work for you...
And if all the plan is won't work anymore...take a deep breathe. You may allowed to scream out loud. Run or whatever. Just follow your heart after that. Wherever your heart say "this is your next stop!" Then, you can stop there..

So, let's my heart decide where's my next stop!

(meoowww..where's my next stop?")

Some people say, women is all about heart and feeling with a little logic. Maybe they right ^^